Departure.

I saw two troubling incidents recently on social media. Both involved the police, both involved resisting arrest, and both ended badly. Why a black lieutenant was pulled over by two squad cars remains to be seen; and why both officers presented with guns drawn, immediately creates another question: why a man who clearly understood the chain of command offered a strange passive-aggressive response? He would never tolerate his own behavior from subordinates in his profession; it seems logical to assume he was deliberately making the situation much worse than it needed to be.

The second seems, for now, more clear: an officer making a horrible mistake under pressure, another young man resisting arrest, creating a dangerous situation. It has spawned a wave of protests — a word that now encompasses burning and looting before the facts are in. Or verdicts. Or even indictments.

The chaos on January 6th was equally criminal as the looting over the last few days, but it strikes me as illustrative that one came after an exhaustive use of the legal apparatus, and the other in its complete absence. Like the George Floyd case, it was bizarre to watch nationwide lawlessness offered as the antidote to prosecuting, what appeared at the time, a slam-dunk murder conviction. No one even waited for indictments. The justice system, and if Portland or CHAZ or the “defund the police” movement were any measure, have been relegated to little more than a sort of irrelevant annoyance.

Bret Weinstien broke down some further developments on his YouTube live stream Saturday, showed pictures of the aftermath of yet more rioting in Portland. Both he an his wife were clearly exasperated at the city’s policy: downtown burns the day they receive a notice that all dogs and cats in the city will be required to be licensed. They, and many others are increasingly bewildered by the glaring dysfunction. Anarchists and BLM: one group acting or living out a brutish, violent nihilism, preaching an ideology that is childish on one extreme, and the other willfully blind to the statistics of police misconduct on the other. Neither ethos is capable of creating the very system that gives them the freedom to entertain their fantasies. Attempting to parse out what Antifa is attempting to accomplish, or contextualize the condition of the black community in America — is simply ignored, or met with a series of nihilistic tantrums. The discourse quickly descends into the mechanics of arguing with an angsty teenager. Futile.

The divide between the expressions of populism on the Right and Left is curious. One movement is typified by working within the existing system, the other is defecting to violence as a first recourse. The January 6th riot was a desperate, incoherent, act of defiance at the end of months of complex litigation and searches for proof of widespread voter fraud while months of violence have been predicated on the assertion that blacks are targeted or shot at higher rates by police — something that’s simply not in the literature. Destruction occurs before investigation, trials, or any coherent look at the facts. Police shootings as outliers events are sold as commonplace, and indicative of the system at large. Which is false and childish on its face.

The violence in turn has a compounding effect in de facto jury nullification for the incidents that spawned it — now not only will the facts not be sorted fairly the intimidation, nationwide, over the last 11 months is causing police to be defunded and demoralized, and crime rates skyrocket. A sinister feedback loop is being created, and the nation is increasingly being habituated to it. Derek Chauvin picked the wrong day to be “too much of a cop” to be sure — but his jurors have clearly been intimidated over most of the last year. There is almost no way the justice system is functioning as intended in Minneapolis at the moment.

But something even more sinister may be presenting itself.

It wasn’t very long ago that the differences and foibles of men and women — were accepted as unavoidable. The root of jokes, marital conflicts, “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” seemed to sum up the accepted historical experience — men as club wielding savages, women as ditsy introverts — there has been a utility to, even with an unfair stereotype, tagging each gender. Anyone who has been married for any length of time knows that it might a be a cartoon, but we all have to work within a rough approximation of that male/female dialectic.

Going one layer deeper, the way that gravity has functioned in the propagation of generations — a family — has had a fairly static formula. Public commitment of some sort, monogamy, father/mother roles held in a sort of yin/yang dialectical tension. (Christians see it as an instantiation of the Christ-Church dialectic.) The Mars/Venus hurdles as subtext, a “mystical union” — north/south poles held in tension; and electricity generated in the flux.

For children raised in that environment, the complexity of reality, the process of being and becoming, how “change” or growth is processed, become accurate, natural process, and gets “baked in” to their epistemology. In the tension between the mother and father, who experience the world and their own bodies in much different ways, a larger truth emerges. Life becomes a process of growth towards greater goals, rather than subjection to one or the other parent’s will. When a marriage is functioning optimally, that dialectic will be mapped onto the child’s consciousness — that we are not wholes, we are halves — and that to move into the future, generation to generation, we must interact with that dialectic (by faith). Anything short of this reduces the marriage to politics — a game of guilt and pity, or resentment and placation. The iterations of dysfunction are endless. But once the union is effectively broken (divorce is only an extreme case of this), one or the other parents function as a tyrant in the minds of children. (and that can be a benevolent tyrant) The ethos, the larger truth (read: religion) is lost, and a waiting game of survival or insubordination (or both) begins. Growth, in terms of the ethos is lost, and the ethos itself with it; and the very role models, the instantiation of those vehicles for change are vilified as “suppression” or “patriarchy”, and actively defamed and caricatured as useless or evil.

Not only does the ethos itself become lost — so does the means of ever capturing it again.

When Antifa rioted for more than three months straight in Portland, the Trump administration brought in DHS officers to tamp down the violence. The response was to vilify the president. Responses to nation-wide riots were similar. The incident in CHAZ/Seattle equally so, Chicago, too — with the mayor openly insulting Trump. The ethos of equal protection under the law, of the right hold property and use it in the pursuit of happiness, was lost. And so was the means of protecting it.

There has been much made — equally from evolutionary biologists as from fundamentalist Xians — over the recent redefinition of gender identity. One side sees an evaporation of identifiable scientific handles, the other a moral/theological violation. While the biologists have a laudable concrete point, and the Xians a more abstract, possibly even pharisaical point of order — they both may have “missed ship’s movement” in the underlying ethos (functional religion) of the nation.

It is becoming clearer and clearer that “woke” gender ideology is not vector into destroying the family and its epistemic function (that was done in the 60s, 70s and 80s — with roots long before that) but “cutting the phone lines” to make sure it never comes back. Many intellectuals tie the breakdown of the family in black community to outcomes we see today. The black community may have only been the canary in the coal mine — and that the functional loss of the ability to propagate the ethos in the white community is beginning to bear similar fruit. That the police, being secure in our person or property, DHS, or “traditional” gender roles are now “the problem” should give every one of us pause. That the biological/epistemic necessities of propagating the culture and species are now forms of oppression, even more so.

It might be as vital to realize that the horse is not only long gone, but that we are now arguing over whether gates are the source of our problems.

Transactions

I had a short exchange with a British pastor on Twitter yesterday. He had posted a response to an atheist’s YouTube video on “Could God be evil?” Both videos ran through some fairly routine arguments for and against the idea: theodicy, the nature of “evil,” what God might be up to in “allowing” it, and so on. Social media has plenty of that; you don’t have to look very far to find it.

But what was really being transacted in that exchange? Was there a larger “truth” or “reality” being affirmed by its existence? Was there something important missing, that by not being mentioned transacted that it was irrelevant? Was something made a harder, more definite, reality in that exchange than what — on the surface—was being argued?

The landscape of the modern mind is fairly “Greek”—or as N.T. Wright posits, “Epicurean.” A helpful summary of the “Greek” way of thinking is “endless comparisons” or “comparing notes” inside of an assumed abstract framework, a lot of subtext, “we all just know” labels and terms, desirable outcomes. But those terms—and even the “need” to kick them around in discussion—seem to be smuggling something a bit sinister in with them.

American sociologist Eugen Rosenstock-Huessy was fond of pointing out the danger of abstractions. “You cannot abstract time or space,” he pointed out to his students.  “If you are ‘inside a house,’ it makes a big difference whether you’re in the kitchen or the bathroom.” The point there is easy to miss. The abstraction is irrelevant to whatever you are doing inside that house. It’s almost completely beside the point.

So if/when Christian apologists argue for “God’s goodness” or try to rationalize theodicy, it seems to me that there’s a double misdirect.

A third error is possible, that we as humans are in some way capable of judging “God’s goodness” or His efficacy when our actions are regularly egregious (by that same assumed standard). How we as a race or as individuals can gauge allowing “evil” where we all comically fall short at both levels would seem to end the discussion before it starts. “How could Jewish ‘genocide’ be moral?” Yet the “moral” objection becomes absurd when you consider Dresden or Hiroshima—wiping out entire cities. Maybe it’s only “moral” if you use napalm and atomic weapons. And that was only the “good guys.”

The first subtle problem is almost an an a priori disposal of God—the presence of historical revelation as a guide—and conversely, the implicit acquiescence to gather our own straw, and then with “Greek” categories, to basically build Him (or simply the “consistent” idea or construct) from scratch. A popular “prove God’s existence” meme is held up as a foil to believing. “You believe in His existence, but there’s no proof; you have to ‘prove’ He exists.” Sagan’s “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof” might be the most famous.

But what’s really going on there when we chase that argument? What are we transacting by, even for the sake of argument, accepting the premise?

It’s not much fun, won’t play well in a dorm room with competing copies of Nietzsche, Kant, and a KJV Bible, but there’s no point in accepting the premise. It invalidates our own reality: that historical revelation is valid, and that through hearing, the Spirit has moved us to belief. The instant we begin a defense with those Greek tools of the “extraordinary claim” we confirm that it is “extraordinary”—while missing the point that Sagan’s assertion is in itself a claim. The stick is thrown. Why chase it?

The instances of cultural contact throughout history with a spiritual reality are too numerous to recount. The particular Jewish backstory and their encounter with God is reasonably sound—in terms of textual reliability—to justify belief and that self-identifying entity’s existence. The Gospels, and early letters are too.

But that same self-identifying entity is keen to steer away from abstract description, in the end asserting “I am who I am.” And when questioned on His motives, responds “Were you there when I laid the foundations of the world?”

So what we end up transacting when we chase the “prove it” assertion is a de facto denial of His self-defining character—whatever limited discussion God is willing to have on the subject. And that groundwork is tossed for some sort of game where we somehow both have standing to not take Him at his word—ignore it—and build Him again out of abstractions and basically make excuses for Him in the process.

Not a good look—and for the unbeliever, easy to see through, if only instinctually. Easily confused with someone who doesn’t, in practice, believe it either. (harshness disclaimer: emphasis on “confused” in terms of apologists seeming to backpedal; it’s definitely unintentional/misidentified)

The second subtle problem is a lack of self-awareness. At least in the West, given our accumulated assumptions, mannerisms, assumed sense of fairness, legal science, governmental forms. etc., an uncomprehending disconnect exists on how we function. And most importantly, how unique that is.

Geppetto and Pinocchio, in the whale, at the bottom of the ocean, arguing whether large sea-going mammals exist.

Where are we, really?

This appears in the faith/science “debates” and falls into the same trap I mentioned earlier. It’s a false path—it ignores the functioning power, explanatory and formative, that the Christian construct provides. I forget who said it but “if we didn’t have Christianity, we would have to invent it.” Beginning with early Christianity’s reformations in terms of the standing of women, slaves, and children—running well into the Enlightenment and the solidification of our right to resistance against the State—the motive force, the realities that Christianity assumed were the fuel and direction that made the West.

The list is as long as it is forgotten. The doctrine of the Trinity was lethal to emperor worship—no longer was a deified man the highest human reality. Christianity drove a move from “the polis to the people” during the “dark” ages. Pope Gregory created the practical notion of the “secular” in the eleventh century. Luther went on to coin the phrase “private person.” Democracy as an assumed moral construct with an assumed eschatology of peace logically followed. From the twelfth century on a parallel, more subtle, process began with the discovery of Justinian’s codexes. For several centuries, contract law, negotiable bills of exchange, distributed risk, concepts of informed consent and duress, all bubbled up from Christianity working out the legal language of the West. Science as we know it was a direct creation of that process—with all of the same subtle assumptions that brought a parallel explosion of commerce and discovery.

Whatever the “claims” of Christianity, in the West, we live inside it, like it or not. Whatever the claims of the Enlightenment, a close inspection reveals a trust-fund baby wealthy enough to forget its past, an effete ease of “just knowing” or “just having” the tools for success. It took centuries of painstaking work to not only create and develop those assumptions, and even more astonishing have them adopted and assumed at scale.

Coming full circle, the “need” to argue whether God is “good” presents as little more than a game of “let’s pretend” where the “Can Spiderman beat up Aquaman?” question is of no practical use. Unless the current popular atheist objections have some parallel way of generating that same advancement—from Rome until now—and a way of inducing those common assumptions [common Spirit] at scale, it doesn’t deserve a hearing. It needs to mature and present its case rather than tugging at our pants leg and endlessly asking, “But whyyy??

What should be transacted in conversation is an acknowledgement of both the genuine nature of the existing revelation and its staggering efficacy or power over time. No, God’s not showing His hand—sorry—and Christians struggle with it too, constantly. But that’s part of the deal. And He says so explicitly. 

Trying to reverse-engineer God by pure deduction, even for the sake of argument, is a contradictory activity where we pantomime the validity of the atheist position while essentially making excuses. Again, not a good look.

Both answering seeker/atheist objections head-on (in terms of our own thought-world) and communicating—transacting—that Christianity, not pure deduction, is the space in which we exist, would not only be better, but an authentic expression of what we believe, and communicate subtextually who we are.

Peterson

In an exchange with a student in the early 1950s, Dartmouth sociologist Eugen Rosenstock-Huessy remarked:
“Religion is dead, murdered by the theologians.”
A Christian news site just ran a short piece about Jordan Peterson — essentially troubled that Peterson is unclear about his stance on the divinity of Christ. Peterson’s elucidations on the bones, or archetypes, of scripture — scientific observations that genders and the human condition may in fact be an irreducible dialectical state of being, and general Christ-like approach to reality — have left some Christians grateful for the breath of fresh air, and others troubled and strident that Peterson is not doctrinally sound.
The comments section of the article reflects this — a fairly thorough going refutation — that Peterson isn’t onboard with the hypostatic union, is not being led by the Spirit, and so on. Firm but fair criticisms. The underlying message is that he represents an untrustworthy source, or even a false prophet.
Peterson faces this same askance treatment from academia. The madness that has infected the colleges and their humanities departments has “progressed” beyond meaningful contact with the world, has lost predictive power. So much so that they are now running afoul of the harder sciences — see Brett Weinstein and Lindsay Shepherd. Certain research is now taboo, bounded by newspeak. The new “beautiful ideas” are smothering free inquiry, even in the face of meaningful statistical study. Peterson’s de facto appeal to the metaphysical, or primitive, is certainly due for a visit from the Grand Inquisitor even though Progressive ideology is increasingly no longer useful in exploring reality.
On a broad level, it doesn’t matter what he knows or believes about doctrine. We are ruled by the realities of our genders, the dialectical nature of the heterosexual union — these facts are crucial in orienting us as we develop across time. Other aspects — movement of the Spirit, how our souls interact with our minds and and so on — are hard God-created realities that rule us, whether we like it or not, whether we have the details of doctrine meticulously defined or not.
Maybe “common grace” is a better description — that we all know the Truth, but suppress it unnecessarily for a variety of reasons, but are still able to relate to a hardwired image of God within us all.
The hard dialectical realities persist, though — and a true religion encompasses that description. Peterson has had the sense to look back at the development of the the Western mind and detect how that development occurred. He’s taken these themes and self-consciously reapplied them to a straightforward existential approach. A way of life. A way of life that has predictive power and is utterly relatable.
It has to be unnerving for Christians in America to hear what he has to say — he’s largely describing the world as it is — and they know that instinctively, along with millions of others — but he is arriving at his conclusions in a way that is completely obscured by decades of abstracted doctrine and an almost Gnostic approach to Christianity.
The Church in the West has become impotent in its approach to weekday life — confused in how to “engage the culture.” Men are bailing out of the worship services; people are confused. And what has “fallen out” of this equation is a slide into legalism for some, and abstraction or spiritual obscurantism for others. The Church in the West is guilty of becoming lost in doctrinal disputes — splitting denominations over the subtleties of imputation, for example. Other branches are held to together by offering a simple shared spiritual epiphany every Sunday. Others have reduced “the Gospel message” to an abstraction. Darrell Bock’s and Russell Moore’s last articles are examples of this: vague admonitions to a general level of “gospelness,” but nothing that is relatable in a an existential, rubber-meets-the-road, sort of way.

You cannot abstract time and space — the Greeks tried this, and it destroyed them.

The common “not of this world” attitude in American evangelical circles compounds this dangerous detachment, and it is exasperating people who are trying to sort out their lives, kids, and marriages. Young people going through the turbulent transition from “son” or “daughter” to “suitor” or “bride” — and on to “wife,” “husband,” “father,” “mother,” etc. are left gleaning what they can from Hollywood or Madison Avenue pimps — and what they are offering is poison.

So Peterson has pieced together a rough sketch of the world bounded by Christian archetypes and delivered it to a mass audience. He is able to tell us how we are connected and has highlighted our commonality — how we can related to each other in a meaningful way, in everyday life. It’s religious, but not in a way most Christians understand.
As Christians, we should be ashamed of ourselves for our complete inability to compete with Peterson’s clear, grounded message. Peterson is working with fragments that have fallen from our table and is running circles around the Church in the West.
Shame on us.

Vegan Beans and Brown Rice

Ten years ago near a food stall at a local hippy festival, I had my mind changed about food. A deceptively simple thing: kidney beans and rice. Equally simple garnish — fresh onions, cheese, cilantro — the flavors and simplicity blew me away. Lightbulb moment.
Simple dishes are really tough to get right, to make them “sing.” In peasant/street cooking — Mexican and Italian cooking too — less is way f–ing more. The small touches: browning an onion, roasting a clove of garlic, blistering a pepper or tortilla are everything. Balance is huge, especially as the number of ingredients decreases.

Reproducing that beans and rice dish became a mission; I tried any number of different methods and flavor combinations. I eventually satisficed with a mash up of Rick Bayless’s Spanish rice recipe, mixed with a good amount of kidney beans. Keeping to a mostly vegan diet, it became my daily “maintenance food.” It wasn’t “that” dish, but it worked well. The mission to find that perfect combination continued.

Reading Twitter recently I found this post on the Splendid Table’s feed.  For some reason it clicked — brought me back to that original lightbulb moment in a crowd, holding a paper bowl and plastic spoon. The core of the recipe, adjusted slightly, is below. I don’t care for white rice any more than I do for “white” bread, so it’s adapted for brown rice — cooked using a pressure cooker.

Here it is:

Note: The recipe is specific about *ancho* chili powder and *Mexican* oregano — do not substitute those. (Mexican Oregano, per Rick Bayless, is a plant native to the America’s that the Spaniards mislabeled “oregano.”)

400g brown rice
500g water (salt it or add better-than-bullion’s base)

2  28oz cans Kidney Beans
2 tsp ground cumin,
1 tsp ancho chili powder,
1 tsp Mexican oregano
1 onion, small dice. The variety probably doesn’t really matter — just baseball sized, I used a yellow onion
2 cloves of garlic — CRUSH them with the flat of a chef’s knife and give them a rough chop.
Neutral oil — sunflower is good

Method:

Get the rice going first — combine the water/stock with the rice in the pressure cooker. Cook at the higher setting for 25 minutes. Quick release on that is probably best.

Cover the bottom of a decent sized (4-6qt?) saucepan with the oil — you shouldn’t have to shake the pan much for the oil to cover the bottom. Heat the oil over a “medium” heat and add the chili powder and cumin. Stir this around to make a decent slurry, and heat it for a minute or two. Smell it — it should start to smell great — stir in the onion to coat with the slurry. Gently cook this — if it looks like you’re going to brown the onions, back off the heat. After you stir in the onions, take the Mexican oregano between your hands and grind it over the saucepan, crushing it as best you can. Stir that in. Cook all that for maybe five minutes; stir in the garlic and cook for another minute.

At this point add the beans *with* the liquid in the cans, stir it up thoroughly, increase the heat, and bring all that to a simmer. Cover, lower the heat and let that simmer for roughly five minutes. Turn it off and add salt to taste.

Serve the bean mixture over the rice.

It doesn’t really need it, but you can add any typical garnish: lime, cilantro, cheese, chopped onion, Sriracha, Tabasco.

That’s it — some kick-ass vegan maintenance food.

Pressure Drop — Saving the Second Growler

Whether you’re smart enough to not finish that second growler — or just have several growlers of different ales and lagers going at once, sometimes it’s just not possible or smart to drink all the beer on hand. The unused beer is usually pretty dead by the the next day.

As a chemistry problem, keeping beer carbonated is a pretty easy issue to solve — pressurize the beer with a gas that won’t oxidize or interact with whatever is in the growler. Getting that done is a little tricky. Custom valves, gauges, fixtures, hoses, containers, and questions like: “What pressure?” and “Where can I get an easily available and affordable source for CO2?” come to mind.

A few kickstarted projects came and went that promised customs caps and other setups to keep growlers fresh, but the best I can tell they were undone by liability insurance on the way to market. They do exist, or did at one time, but you can’t buy them for whatever reason. A few products have made it market, but seem overwrought. One of the most interesting is the “GrowlerTap” — but after using it, the solution seemed unwieldy. It basically turns a growler into a keg with a dispenser. Maybe I wasn’t smart enough to use the thing properly, but I couldn’t keep from over pressurizing (FOAM!!) the growler. Your results may vary.

Keeping it Simple 

There is the start of a pretty cool solution over at instructables.com: Just use the existing growler setup and modify the metal cap with a custom bike valve. Use a step drill to put a hole in the cap and assemble a custom valve stem with a food-grade rubber seal — replacing the existing seal packaged with the stem.

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Assemble the valve and food-grade seal into the cap and you’re done — all you need after that is a CO2 source and a way to regulate the pressure. (And some rough idea of what psi the beer needs to be kept carbonated.)

I asked one of the owners of the local microbrewery at what pressure beer needs to be kept — his answer was “just under 10 psi; nothing over that.” (I immediately wanted to find a time machine and warn my 19-year-old self; saved a boatload of bad keg experiences.)

Making it Work

Without going overboard with custom hoses and regulators, a pretty common solution on the Web was to use a hand-held bike tire inflator to pressurize the growler. Pretty cheap and the canisters use CO2. I thought about rigging some sort of high-end bike inflator and monitor the pressure as I pressurized the beer but opted for a cheap tire gauge. You have to get a feel for what pressure you’re applying. I usually end up going over a bit and just checking the pressure until I get it down to 10psi. You can also leave the cap loose and “purge” the air out first, and then tighten it and bring it up to pressure.

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The Setup

It’s a bit of a cave-man solution: There are NO safety factors here, nothing to release extreme pressure if you get carried away. With the right “expertise” or beer googles I’d imagine someone could blow up a growler, end up in the ER, or worse.

But there it is — it’s worked pretty well thus far.

Trail Food: Coconut Beans and Rice

Some great sites out there feature homemade recipes that rehearse a pretty cool formula for backcountry cooking: freeze-dried and dehydrated components vacuum sealed/packaged and then reconstituted with boiling water in either an insulated cozy or cup of some sort. Essentially zero cleanup, the storage space is also typically smaller than the larger Mountain House meals. Tricks to customize the recipes include adding things like butter powder and milk (look for Nestle’s “Nido” for whole milk powder) to jack up the calories and help hold you on a hike.

After reading  Hyperlight Mountain Gear’s great blog and trying out a couple of recipes, I decided to experiment with a coconut beans and rice recipe, adapting it for the backcountry. You can use a cozy and either rehydrate in an oversized vacuum seal bag or a quart-sized Zip-Lock bag, or dump the contents into an insulated twist-top container. The first two options are optimum for no cleanup. Antigravity gear sells both the cozy pouches themselves, which fit a standard quart Zip-Lock bag, and kits to convert Zip-Lock’s Twist-top containers into insulated containers. Other sites probably do, too, but Antigravity Gear is a great place to start — I actually have their pouches but used double-backed tape, Gorilla Tape, and a roll of (looks like silver bubble wrap) duct insulation to make my own insulated Zip-Lock twist-top container.

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 The Recipe

 You’ll need to get some components; Amazon is a great place for that — be sure to store anything with fat in it in the freezer.

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  • 50g Instant Uncle Ben’s White Rice (they make instant brown rice, too, but I could never get it not too chewy — your results may vary) 
  • 25g Dehydrated Beans 
  • 16g Coconut Cream Powder 
  • 5g Veggie or Chicken Stock Powder 
  • 1 Tbsp Dehydrated Bell Peppers 
  • 1 Tsp Butter Powder (more to bump up the calories than anything else) 
  • 1 pinch salt (to taste) 

That’s it — just package these in a bag and rehydrate with boiling water (“eyeballing it”–I’m not sure how much). It takes about 7 minutes to get the chewiness to go away, and it runs about 420 calories. It packs up great and is a healthy option to the some of the sodium bombs out there.

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Eulogy for a Son

August 6, 2016


Tonight I wanted to go over some rough sketches of Hope in obedience—obedience rooted in reality. We say we have hope in God’s promises, but it’s important that we recognize ourselves in a larger context—working in a community with God, and that who we are as personalities—able to relate to each other, work together without losing our identities is bound up in the reality of the Trinity—and the reality of Fatherhood as an eternal fact.


I pray every night for my children. Each time I ask God the same thing: Keep them safe and morally straight. Last Wednesday, God told me “no.”
When Job experienced the horror of losing all his children, and asked God “why?”, God told him “don’t ask”. Were you there? Are you going to tell me my job? It seems like a harsh and hopeless response—“deal with it.” Shut up.
Scholars have argued for centuries about predestination—free will, theodicy—why is there evil and suffering. We encounter evil and suffering in our own lives and ask the same question—why?—how can a good God allow something like O—’s untimely death to happen. 
In the end it comes down to definitions—what is “evil”—and what do we mean when we say that God is “good”. It’s a common mistake to imagine evil as a thing in itself—a substance. A preexisting quality or behavior—and that God is tainted by it when He allows evil and suffering to occur. 
In reality we have to separate evil and suffering—evil is disobedience to God’s will, not a thing or quality that God can express. Separately, allowing suffering is something that is bound up in God’s eternal council, and we are not allowed to know the reasons—even assuming our minds could comprehend his eternal plan.
As Christians we begin our thinking relying on his divine will and Goodness as paramount. And our life is a reckoning to his will: to His teaching, blessings, and discipline. In this process we grow and are brought into contact with our true selves. Obedience to our Father’s will—is what ties us to our true selves and allows us to be and truly exist as we were created to be.
He calls us his friends, sons, His children—he tells us He loves us, and promises that all this works together for good to those called according to his purpose.
The notion of the trinity itself, being persons at all and capable of knowing and working in unity with other persons bound up in this. The trinity functions without destroying or downplaying the individual members—and the individual members don’t override the trinity’s purpose. Unity working through love.
Love working in unison is the pattern for the way we should relate, both to God and each other. Because the template or idea of the Trinity is an eternal fact—Fatherhood itself is also an eternal fact. At the bottom of—the more primal part of reality—is the process of begetting. We live in the shadow of that preexisting fact or template. How we experience life, have families, marry—love – is all within or predefined to that pattern.
We are his children and how we come to know ourselves—to experience life is hedged in by the eternal fact of fatherhood. Submission in how to live, and how history unfolds, suffering included.
We are known by the Father before we know ourselves. We tend to believe that we are our own—are independent, define ourselves outright. In reality, we don’t choose out parents, nationality, the time or place where we were born. Our parents tell us “Yes” and “No” before we form lasting memories—they name us and place us in the context of the family—place us within the framework of working unison through Love.
A mother with her infant in front a mirror is testimony to being known and named before we know ourselves. The infant will recognize its mother in the mirror, but won’t recognize itself.
God tells us yes and no— just as we do with our children. In the case of this tragedy—God is telling me no—no to the joy of seeing O— grow to manhood, no to his participation in the family, no to many, many things. As we have lost O— here on Earth, our family has lost part of our identity—that life force. It is a very profound change.
So to acknowledge his will as children can be very hard—we do not yet understand why—but that condition will not always remain the same. There are some who would curse God, argue for his nonexistence in the light of apparent cruelty. But without the eternal will of God lies something much worse—hopelessness—chaotic, impersonal forces—nothing in the Cosmos but matter and energy. Denying the eternal fact of unity working through love leaves us with a silent, cold universe.
To deny our heavenly Father, and His promises puts Chaos on the throne of reality. And who we are is destroyed by default—personality becomes a byproduct of Chemical reactions—personality and its outworkings become cultural artifacts—we become temporary gatherings of matter and energy.
Fathers sometimes tell their children no—even to reasonable requests—even if only to teach us patience—or to persevere—for the good. Almost by definition those teaching moments of “no” are not understandable until the lesson is learned. The process of learning at all requires a move from unconsciousness to a greater consciousness—to a new awareness
A universe with no suffering–or readily available answers to suffering–is a universe where we cannot learn and grow. We’re already mature, already all-insightful, already have the answers. 
So in a very real sense true growth is not possible without the will of the Father—not possible without Fatherhood—not possible as brute impersonal robots—not possible without the ability to work together in union without losing our individual identities.
But with Fatherhood, maturity eventually comes—and in all likelihood with O—’s death—the loss, hurt, and understanding of God’s will will not be clear until the consummation of all things at the end of the age. 
What matters now is to believe in His promises and accept the Fathers’ will. What matters now is the promise that O— believed and is with the Lord, the promise of the resurrection and the life of the world to come. What is real is knowing that the Lord loves us and will work things together for good—and we need to self-consciously  LIVE in that reality. Clarity will finally come in the resurrection with the new heavens and new earth—as God’s kingdom finally comes, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Our times are in His hands—who does all things well. Keep the Faith.

Stones in My Passway

Lost Lake–Primrose Traverse

I guess it finally had to happen: mountain biked the Lost Lake and Primrose trails over the weekend, Running north out of Seward, spending the night at Lost Lake, riding out Primrose trail, and then biking back to Seward.

These two trails are probably the most challenging, yet accessible, that I’ve ridden so farthe rough conditions of the trail balanced out by the fact that they don’t become overgrown over the summer. Overgrowth can really be a factor with the long hours of sunlight, leaving some of the trails on the Kenai Peninsula unusable from mid-summer to the first killing frosts in early September.

The Trails

Lost Lake trail starts at milepost five, just North of Seward. Follow the signs about a quarter mile off the highway, and park. The trail does not bait you into any false sense of security: you pay right up front—rough conditions and a pretty steep grade. 

Fake Out

One issue mentioned in the guide books is a summer-winter route choice a short way up the trail (the trail divides, then meets up again at tree line). Basically one route is better for snow machines and the other for hiking. The way it’s mentioned in the guidebooks makes it sound like a pretty immediate feature, and this is made even more confusing by another trail divide  about 150 feet after leaving the parking lot. As you roll down and up the very first hill the trail diverges with a “Trail” sign with an arrow directing you to the right. There’s a very clear trail to the left and without giving it too much thought you might follow that sign, head to the right, and then second-guess that choice after a 100 yards or so—thinking that you’ve taken the winter route. Don’t worry, you’re on the right trailthe winter-summer “Y” is clearly marked further up the trail. That first break that heads to the right is easier, and meets up with the trail that headed to the left after a few hundred yards.
This *is* the sign you are looking for.

After taking the summer route, just settle in for a fairly robust climb for a couple-three miles to tree line The trail is generally in good condition, with the usual annoying sections. It’s a pretty good hump until the trail breaks out into the rolling meadows above tree line. Be aware of the steep drop-offs as you run up the valley. There are a few spots with NO room for error. Also, there were plenty of places to fill up with water, although that might change later in the season.


At treeline, you’ll meet up with the winter trail, and then it’s a rolling/climbing run with really enjoyable (flowy for a mile or two) single track all the way into the lake. Roughly a mile south of the lake you’ll lose sight of Resurrection Bay behind you, (3g coverage) and several hundred feet in elevation as you run down to the lake.

The Lake

Probably doesn’t get much better on the Kenai.

Pretty impressive lake, with a few good places to camp on the southern shore, but a bunch more on the finger that juts into the lake. The finger rises a hundred feet or so, and might be a better place to avoid the bugsbeing a bit more breezy. Beautiful spot—Marmots everywhere—if you saw Julie Andrews pirouetting off in the distance you wouldn’t think twice. Basically you’re camping in an REI ad shoot.

Primrose Trail

If you mountain bike you may have heard about this one—bad, scary, white-knuckle things—and to a degree the rumors are true. The trail in general is very well maintained  but has some features that make biking it challenging in places. Leaving the lake and turning north, you run roughly 3 miles over a ridge, with some fairly regular rough spots (stairs, gaps in the trail, sudden rises), and gain about 600 feet in the process; after that is a about half a mile (it might might be a as little as a quarter mile) of IDIOT SUICIDE STONER BIKER MOVIE TECHNICAL ROCK GARDEN OFF-CAMBER GULLEY trail. Yes, it *can* be done—but it’s a section of trail for seriously advanced riders. The rest of us just need to get off of our bikes and walk.

Once you get past that, you’ve got about two miles of really enjoyable test-your-line-picking-skills section. It’s tricky, but probably right at most regular bikers’ skill level. There’s enough spaces between the roots and rocks to get your speed back down, it keeps your attention, and puts you through your paces. If you don’t ride much, you’ll need to walk large parts of this section as well. The last two miles are basically four-wheeler track with regular root features, but nothing that won’t let you keep up a pretty good pace.

But for comparison: Lost Lake running at about six miles and Primrose running about eight, it took the same time (roughly two hours) to go UP Lost Lake as it did to go DOWN Primrose. So the trail conditions of Primrose will slow you down just a bit.

Back to Seward

The trip back to Seward is mostly down hill, with about five miles of slight/moderate climb out of the Primrose campground before relenting. It took less than an hour.

Great, great, trip.

mountain bike lost lake primrose trail Kenai peninsula single track

Way Out

Demon, exorcised.

For hikers, the Skyline-Fuller lakes traverse is the Kenai Peninsula’s version of the Bermuda Triangle. Every person who has hiked it from the Skyline side knows the trail down from the final ridge to Upper Fuller Lake means bushwhacking. Usually way more than intended.

No more.

The Route

A Little Closer

In the top figure, the purple line is the path shown on “the map”. (That trail is probably overgrown, and that may be something to explore on another trip.) The red line is the way off the ridge, down to a large cairn on a smaller ridge about 3/4ths the way down to the valley. The path from the cairn to the lake has been repeatedly flagged, and is a straightforward hike.

Getting Down

At the beginning of the red line on the ridge, on the trail itself is a small metal marker spray painted an unnatural fluorescent green. That marker has an attached aluminum plate, about the size of a playing card that reads:

TRAIL DOWN TO FULLER LAKE
START DOWN NOW

Do this. Start down the hill and look for flagging tape as you go. About 100 yards down the hill you should see another marker–identical to the first– on a small rise, that reads:

TRAIL TO FULLER LAKE LOOK
FOR PINK MARKER TAPE


The Cairn

Looking Back up from the Cairn

From that marker you should be able to follow the intermittent tape to the gravel patch and cairn. Alternately, the top rock of the cairn has been wrapped in pink flagging tape, which should be visible to sharp eyes, or a using a pair of binoculars, from the ridge. Also, note in the first figure the two banks of trees that form a U-shaped feature on the side of the ridge. Starting down before the first bank of trees, and keeping that to your left will lead you to the cairn, and out.

Here is the GPS route as a Google Earth file:

Link.

Short video that shows the view from the cairn:



Caines Head State Recreational Area

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Where the Zombies Weren’t — Spring 2014

Caines Head had been on my hiking list for a couple of years — finally did it over the weekend. Basically it’s an overnighter, whether you want it to be or not. The hike takes you along the beach for about three miles, and can only be done at a tide of 3 feet or less. So, except in very rare cases, you’re cut off from the rest of the world until the next tide — except for the four bars of 3G coverage. Hard to take.

Caines Head SRS has one of the few military defenses built during World War II, set up to defend against Japanese attack. There is an abandoned military fort/bunker/gun emplacement on the tallest headland, facing the mouth of Resurrection Bay. The fort — bunker — has about 12-18 rooms, ranging in size from large broom closets to a couple of one-car garage sized spaces. Headlamps or flashlights are a must. Outside are two gun emplacements (without the guns).

The hike never gains much elevation, topping out at 650 feet. There is a ranger station at North Beach, with latrines, a large bear box, creek for water, and a pavilion with picnic tables for cooking. For campsites, there are only a couple in the forest, several behind the beach berm, and some in the footprint of the old pier pylons on the south side of the beach. (There’s also latrines at two public use cabins on the beach walk down, and one up at the fort. At the second cabin on your way down is a water source, and another just up from there. Pretty civilized hike.